Chael Sonnen Will Dry Hump the Shit Out of You
As soon as Anderson tries to punch me, I’m going to stick my forehead in his chest, run him against the fence, pick him up, put him on the canvas and that’s the end of that round. As soon as Anderson tries to kick me, I’m going to stick my forehead in his chest, run him into that fence, put him on the ground, that’s the end of that round.
…
I am five strike attempts by him away from being the UFC champion.
Am I the only one that thinks this sounds like a profoundly boring gameplan? It might be exciting if Sonnen’s plan were to take Silva down and submit him. Or take him down and ground-and-pound him until the ref pulls him off Silva’s unconscious body. But there’s no hint that either of these is Sonnen’s intent. Based on his fight record, I can’t imagine any other scenario where Sonnen wins this fight than the one where he takes Silva down five times and lays on him really hard until the end of the round. And no part of me actually wants to watch 25 minutes of that.
Chael Sonnen is in the awkward position of having beaten a number of high-level fighters in his recent outings, but having never finished anyone worth writing home about in his entire career. He is, in a sense, the archetype of my least favorite type of mixed martial artist: the outstanding wrestler who isn’t particularly adept at any other aspect of the game. This isn’t to say Sonnen isn’t talented — he clearly is — but a sport primarily about positional control rather than aiming to finish fights isn’t MMA. It’s wrestling. And almost no one gives a damn about watching a wrestling match, especially when only one guy is good at it.
The problem, though, is one of incentives. Sonnen’s take-you-down-and-ride-out-the-round-punching-you-in-the-thigh style wins fights, and winning fights gets you more fights. He thus has no reason to change it up. So while Sonnen was a disappointment at UFC 109, he was disappointing in exactly the same way he always is. Nate Marquardt, by contrast, was disappointing because he did nothing to stop what everyone knew Sonnen would want to do. But one imagines Anderson Silva will be a different story.
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